Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Want to be happy? Watch your language!

Speaking in language that keeps us focused on what isn't going right, comes in the form of words like never and always.  "I never get what I want."  "This always happens to me."  The words always and never mean 100% and nothing happens 100% of the time.  Using the word unfair and looking for all the unfair things that happen in life also keeps us wanting and unhappy.  So when the bad things in life happen, acknowledge that whatever it is has happened and then move on.  Easier said than done you say?  Yes, this change in language takes time to develop.  We have already had years of practice speaking negatively and focusing on what is unfair. That is why it comes so easily.  We have brainwashed ourselves negatively so we can brainwash ourselves positively with practice.

If we practice changing the way we describe situations we can decrease the length of time spent in an unhappy state.  When something bad happens we can say, "This is bad! I hate that this happened!"  We can spend some time being irritated, angry, sad, embarrassed.  Then it is time to move into problem solving.  We ask ourselves, "What can I do about this situation?"  The answer to this question leads us to action steps for moving on from the negative situation.  Try it because just stewing in the negative situation doesn't change it or help us feel better. 

1 comment:

  1. I always make it a point to never use that kind of language :0) Seriously though, I'm with you. People spend so much time focusing on the negatives that the positives just get taken for granted. While there will always be an abundance of things we can complain about, the happier existence is for those that choose to focus on the positive. Not only can we choose to see that the glass is half full, we can also be grateful that we even have the glass in the first place!

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